Derpy Hooves Hero of Epsilon 2

There really is only one thing you should idolize. Me the Muffin Queen. Gather around as I tell you the tale of how I Derpy Hooves the TWC Muffin Queen became the Hero of Epsilon 2.
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I have been a great renowned hero especially in the days of yore. For in 1823, I Derpy Hooves came to the planet of Epsilon 2, where the citizens were in an epic war against the evil muffin race. The battles between both sides were of epic proportions. Thousands would appear on the field of battle, and millions (sometimes billions) would die on that same battlefield. After 100's of years the war had come to an end. It was absolutely horrific. Trillions died, humans and muffins alike. But it was the muffins who won the great epic Human-Muffin War, and thus they enslaved the beaten humans. The dastardly cruel muffins would force the humans to produce muffin offspring. Under Muffin Law, the humans were banned from eating fruits, vegetables, breads and pastries. The humans were tortured, murdered, starved and as well as many other evil things that the cruel muffins imposed upon the powerless humans. However, what the muffins did not expect was I: Derpy Hooves. I rose up in defiance against the evil muffin overlords. Those muffins thought they could defeat me. At first they were successful (there are only so much muffins that I can eat). But then many of the humans joined me and I led them to a sweet, sweet victory over the yumtiddly yumptious muffins. However, one victory was not enough. The muffins came back in full force, defeating many of the rebel humans. It was then that I was forced on top of a brick house, the muffins climbing on top of each other to get their scrumtiddly yumptious hands on me. With nothing more to arm myself but my empty stomach and my watering mouth, I put my bib on and jumped into the muffin crowd.

There were muffins left and right, but I could not focus on that. I had to save humanity and my starving stomach. So I opened up my mouth and started flailing everywhere, smashing muffins and eating them at the same tiime. My battle against the muffins raged on for days. By the end of the after 40 days and 40 nights the King of Siam joined me to help defeat the remaining muffins. One more day passed and the epic battle was over. Trillions of muffin corpses lay everywhere. As the light of the new day shined, what remained of the human population exited their muffiny hovels to gather around the beaten bodies of the King of Siam and I. With their special voodoo gypsy magic, the King of Siam and I were healed. All was right in Epsilon 2. To honor us, the humans made a statue of the King of Siam and I defeating the evil muffins. I told them not to make it out of muffins or I might eat the statue, so they decided to make the statue out of a rare metal called raritanium. And that is how I Derpy Hooves became the Hero of Epsilon 2.